This morning as I ate my cereal at my desk (yes I swear I’m a real adult) I looked down and noticed on the box it said free toy inside. Naturally, I shoved my hand into the bottom of the box, swirling it around vigorously to find a cereal dust-covered Spongebob Squarepants squirt gun. WORTH IT. Alas, I couldn’t find it! I thought I got ripped off.. until I realized that they put it OUTSIDE of the plastic bag.  OUTSIDE? Are you serious? I know you’re just as distraught as I was while you’re reading this. Then it hit me. Some stupid kid probably accidentally ate the toy out of the bag and ruined it for everyone.

Just like everything else in life that’s cool, some stupid kid probably ruined it. Everyone knows “that guy”. The one who double-dips at the veggie tray. He’s the one who breaks his leg on the secret sledding hill and now everyone is banned from going there. The kid who tells on you for something stupid and then EVERYONE has to stay inside for recess. C’mon dude, why did you have to do that? I know most of these scenarios sound childish and you’re thinking who cares, that shit is old news.. but you’re totally wrong. Think about it. There is definitely still that one person who gets under your skin and has zero tolerance for anyone having fun. I’ve always been the type that is a ringleader for doing bad stuff.. going against the grain.. BUT my intentions are never to hurt anyone else or to be disruptive. I seriously think I just don’t know how to go with the “norm” or “what everyone else is doing”.. actually, it makes me want to do the exact opposite. (Read reasons I won’t see explains it all)

Don’t get me wrong, having good morals and values is VERY important to me. For as loud-mouth as I am, I do care about manners and being polite to everyone I meet.. But when you’re doing something fun, that isn’t hurting anyone, I just don’t understand why there is always, ALWAYS, that one kid who tells on you? WHY. WHY. WHY. I’m totally open to you joining in on whatever rebel movement I’ve got going on. Winning brownie points or whatever those kids call it has never been my way. I like to think of myself as the charmer, who wins authority over with my painfully honest and fun ways.. then I do sassy things and they’re definitely less mad because I built up a rapport with them.

So now that I’ve gone completely on some random topics, the whole point of this post is to say.. QUIT TELLING ON THE COOL KIDS! You’re ruining everyone’s fun. You’re ruining a good joke. You’ve already ruined a good prank. You’re the reason there are no cool toys in cereal boxes. You are the reason we had to get rid of “dangerous” toys.. like my Razor scooter that shoots sparks. Don’t lie.. you didn’t really get hurt.. your friend probably just wouldn’t let you shoot sparks in their basement like mine do.. but I swear, if you quit telling on me, we can become friends.. and I’ll let you shoot sparks in my basement ALL DAY LONG. And that’s a promise.