Sometimes I think about all of the things I dislike, and then I think about why I dislike them.. and I’m not going to lie, the majority of the time, I only dislike things because other people hype them up so much that I don’t want to have any part in it. Hmm, I’m really into lists, so maybe I can explain this phenomenon a little bit better by using pictures:
1. Avatar. I HATE this movie. I mean REALLY HATE. Confession: I’ve never even seen it.. Now, before you pull out your pitchforks and torches to burn me at the stake for my hypocrisy, hear me out. First of all, I think that James Cameron is a real douche. I get that you’re awesome at what you do, but I just am never into people who hate on others – it’s so unnecessary. I would be the worst politician ever, because I could never run a smear campaign against someone else, and to me that’s exactly what James Cameron does. If your movies are so awesome, then why do you have to hate on others? Just makes no sense to me. Secondly, so many people talked about how much they loved the movie, that I just felt like it wasn’t a bandwagon I was willing to jump on. A Sci-Fi movie about blue people? No thanks. I’ll stick to Signs.
2. Twilight. I love vampires books (TrueBlood4Life) and I get that they all sort of have the same premise, but I felt like it was a blatant rip off of The Sookie Stackhouse Novels by Charlaine Harris which were written 4 years prior to the Twilight saga. Besides that, I didn’t really want to pick teams or look at Kristin Stewart’s weirdo self on a movie screen for more than 5 seconds. I will give twihards the fact that Edward Pattison is pretty smokin’. And what ‘twihard’ means, I have no idea.. I just googled “what do Twilight groupies call themselves” and that’s what came up. I wonder if some of them are also Bliebers.. I’m sure they’d have a major dilemma on their hands.
3. Horses. I know this sounds stupid, but as a kid, my sister would read horse books, talk about horses, want to play horses and I flat-out just wasn’t having that. Being the oh-so-sweet sister that I am, I made a picture for her in Paint (because I’m cool like that) which consisted of a horse running into a shredder and coming out as glue on the other side. Brutal, I know . The worst was this one specific plastic horse figurine that she had.. excuse me, THAT SHE STILL HAS, which has a button on it’s back so that it will make neigh-ing noises.. That one is the bane of my existence for sure. Oh, and if you really want to get her riled up, just talk about how delicious you think horse jerky would be.
4. Hatchbacks. Yes, I mean the cars. How do you hate a car? EASILY. They just LOOK stupid! #sorrynotsorry to anyone reading this right now who owns one, but who cares what I think anyway.. honestly. It’s just an unecessary pod on the back of your car that doesn’t even look cool. What do you need to fit back there anyway.. a horse? Great, then the two of you can drive down into the glue factory together. Or off a cliff, maybe your horse will become a Pegasus and save you.. now that would be cool.
5. How I Met Your Mother. Fuck you, I refuse to call it HIMYM. If you wanted a show with a cool name, then maybe you should have just gone with that to begin with. Let me start by saying, I love Neil Patrick Harris – and his role on the show.. I mean he’s one cool dude. Quite honestly, I like most of the cast.. except for Ted – but it appears that people who like the show don’t like him either. Whatever. I’ve seen enough episodes to get all of the joke sand if I hear someone say, “wait for it” one for time, I’m probably going to throat-punch them. The joke was funny once, maybe twice.. I’ll even give you 3 times. But now, I’m over it.. SHUT UP! The show itself isn’t that bad.. I guess it’s just the people who watch it. No I haven’t seen “that one episode”, so please don’t try to explain it to me for 20 minutes. Instead, I suggest you just politely tell me I should really watch this show.. but nooooo you have your own agenda and you’re going to explain every episode in shitty detail, going back and forth because you can’t even remember why you were telling me this story in the first place! Just not my cup of tea.
So basically I just arbitrarily pick things I like and don’t like.. just like everyone else in this world.. Mine just happen to be funnier than most.