So here we are, Halloween —  one of the coolest holidays of all. Since it fell on a Monday this year, the Halloweekend has actually already ended. In our neighborhood, they do night trick-or-treating, which I think is an awesome idea.. well let me correct myself, which I THOUGHT (past-tense) was an awesome idea. Our block has a fair amount of kids, so I knew that we would need a bunch of candy which equals about 3 bags in my book. TERRIBLE IDEA #1. What I did not consider was the droves of children that would be dropped off in mini-vans that can fit an army.

All of the sudden, the doorbell rings and BOOM! 40 kids at our door all at once and now our candy supply is completely depleted. So I decide that I was really sad when people didn’t answer their doors or have candy when I was little.. so I’ll go to the store to buy some more. TERRIBLE IDEA # 2. Being that it is night trick-or-treating, it is dark out (Duh). So when I get in my car to drive to Walgreens, I find myself horribly terrified I’m going to hit a child or a group of kids is going to run into the street like a pack of wild squirrels.

As my heart is racing, I finally make it to the store where I’m “just going to grab some candy and be back in 5 minutes” TERRIBLE  IDEA #3. What was I thinking? There were a million people scavenging through the candy just like I was and on top of it, there were all kinds of adults in creepy costumes. Did you REALLY have to dress up as a pirate Mr. I’m-45-years-old-and-think-I-have-a-good-body-but-I’m-really-just-fat? Did I really need to see your chest hair? No. (Gross.)

So on my way home, I’m in the middle of a busy street when all of a sudden, I have to slam on my breaks. Oh boy, all I can think is that the person in front of me hit a kid — so I’m freaking out. Oh wait, it turns out that one of those conversion vans was stopped in the middle of the road picking up a boat-load of kids because they won’t even trick-or-treat in their own neighborhoods.. and on top of it — They won’t even walk. WHAT A RIPOFF. Here comes me being bitter and nostalgic.. my parents never drove me anywhere so I could get the good candy or “because I didn’t want to walk”.

Now, I do understand that other kids don’t live in the nicest areas and probably shouldn’t be going to people’s doors. I get it. And I totally don’t mind if you come to my house… but next time, please make sure you have a costume on (and you aren’t 16 years old) and that you at least walk around the neighborhood instead of causing heinous road blocks and dangerous situations for other children. Thanks.

Oh and here’s this year’s Halloween costume.. So baller. It’s everything I blog about in one picture: ZOMBIE HIPSTERS.