So lately I’m all about figuring out what my pet peeves are, and I actively noticed one today. Texting Lingo. We are all familiar with these little quips and sayings that were created for the purpose of fitting exactly what you want to say in 160 characters, but these days, is it really that big of a deal to send 2 messages? The ones that really get me going (and if you do this I probably won’t respond to your message) are when people try to shorten words.. but they don’t actually shorten them. For example, saying “kewl”.. wait for it.. has the same amount of letters as “COOL”.. and now you look like an idiot.  And how about this.. are you really saving yourself significant amount of time by saying “ppl” instead of “people”? IT’S ONLY 3 LESS LETTERS. Abbreviations are for things like really long state names that no one wants to type out or to make up some crazy word that you just think is funny.. like “dece” instead of “decent”. I’ll admit I’m definitely an offender of that, but for me, I think it defines who I am since I’m not using commonplace expressions, but rather things I make up myself.. and hey, I’m sure people think that’s annoying too. So here are some rules that I wish my other texting friends would follow, and if you know me.. you know I love lists! I’ll keep it simple:

1. I’m totally open to you making up your own words if they’re funny or define who you are. As a forewarning though, I’ll probably still judge you.

2. Saying LOL and OMG with a thousand !!!!!! is not cool anymore, so stop it. Oh, and don’t use it on your Facebook status.

3. Don’t try to be tricky and misspell things (see the cool/kewl example above) — it makes you look stupid.

To quote my new favorite show Californication, David Duchovny’s character Hank Moody says it best:

Radio Show Host: What’s your latest obsession?
Hank Moody: Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. You know, I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it’s really given us is Howard Dean’s aborted candidacy and 24 hour a day access to kiddie porn. People… they don’t write anymore, they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it’s just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people at a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King’s English.
Radio Show Host: Yet you’re part of the problem, I mean you’re out there blogging with the best of them.
Hank Moody: Hence my self-loathing.

And for those of you who can’t read.. You know the Charlie Kellys of this world.. (That’s an It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia quote for those of you who aren’t fans (which is unfortunate) or don’t get the reference)

and even Usher is in on the craze.. but I’m sure all of you saw this at the SuperBowl so I’ll show you a funny Charlie Kelly video instead..

And how could I forget! Zach Staszewski’s all-time favorite text.. It’s one letter and the worst text EVER. K. or Kk. I get it.. You understand. No need to respond. I wish I could block these texts. Please time yourself.. How long would it realistically take you to type the word “Okay”.. .03 seconds? Yeah.. That’s what I thought.