So in recent times, a friend of mine and I were driving around trying to decide where to eat lunch and the first question was: HOW HUNGRY ARE YOU RIGHT NOW? His response got me thinking.. there are totally different levels of hunger and so here is the rating scale that I’ve come up with..

1. I COULD EAT GARBAGE RIGHT NOW. Literally trash. I’m not talking “junk food”, I’m talking Oscar the Grouch, day old, crusty-crust, down and dirty TRASH. This type of hunger is rare, but everyone knows a time that they’ve been there.. it’s that feeling when you think that your stomach is eating your other organs in your body just to survive. I’m not sure that I know too many people who have actually done this (except Zach Staszewski – but his hunger could be a human study in itself) but it definitely is the most extreme level.

2. I can’t even wait long enough to eat to get out of my car. So this is fast food, no thoughts attached,  the worst of the worst – ice-cold taco bell (yes I ate a frozen taco on Sunday.. judge me)

3. I’m fairly hungry, but I still don’t want to wait for my 16 year-old waitress to stop texting her pizza face boyfriend. This constitutes in my book the somewhat classier restaurants like the ever-s0-fancy Culvers. It’s a step up from dog-meat but not quite a romantic sit down dinner.

4. Next in line is I’m hungry and on a budget, but not broke enough to eat at a restaurant with a drive-through window. I feel like there are more and more of these each day considering people like to feel more fancy as they get fat.. restaurants like Noodles or Qdoba. They getcha with their hip fonts, cool and casual settings, neutral tones that make you feel relaxed, bamboo tables and all the things you want to feel cool, but in reality it’s just another chain sub-par restaurant. (Don’t get me wrong I love these restaurants, but when it comes to food, I’m a hipster-I-Love-Eating-Local type of a girl)

5. I’m up to try something new, but I really don’t want it to cost me my arm, my leg and my new Gucci bag. This is my type of territory – new adventures in food. This can be disastrous or awesome (OR BOTH) all at the same time. I live for the times that I have this hunger because I’m more likely to try things like Flamingo Kabobs or something strange at a little local place that isn’t commercialized to the masses. Going back to a previous blog, Bay View (My hometown {REPRESENT!}) is chock-full of these type of establishments, and I always try whatever their special is. If you aren’t adventurous enough for this I would suggest you suit up and get out there because you are missing out on the world.

6. I’m hungry and I don’t care how much it costs. This is for those times you want to get dressed up and go out to a hip-joint down in the Third Ward, pretend like you are an entrepreneur who owns their own design firm in Colorado and make it rain on yourself by ordering delicious whatever the eff you want. *Note: You should probably keep these times to a minimum unless you really do own this design firm*

7. This is the complete opposite of I don’t care how much it costs and I would eat garbage on the Hungry Hippo scale. It is for the times that you are so hungover you can’t even eat, or see food, or even entertain the thought for a second of ingesting anything else. This stage is : Even water isn’t appetizing right now. Hopefully you don’t experience this often, but we all have been there.. and man does it suck.

So if you’ve learned anything from this blog, hopefully it’s that Bay View is pretty kick ass and has some awesome restaurants you should try out.. or you’re reading this and eating garbage. Either one is cool with me.

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