As graduation nears, my anxiety and blood pressure are rising each day. Tears fill my eyes at the most ridiculous times just thinking about the impeding doom which is that point when you’re driving down the road and it just ends, but you can’t turn around and it seems like a bad dream. That is graduation in my eyes. I keep giving the same pep talk to all of my friends over and over again, the typical it’ll be okay.. don’t worry.. things work themselves out.. but boy oh boy it is so much easier to be scared. I know from personal experience that I can pretty much handle anything that is thrown at me, but for whatever reason I’m not even convinced by my own inspirational speech.
Sometimes I think to myself? Does everything always turn out rainbows and kittens.. HECK NO! I guess I just don’t see why we are always striving to see the glass half-full. I spend oodles and oodles of time thinking about how I can be more positive and ways to keep the negative out, but sometimes you just can’t help it. To quote a recent episode of Made that I saw on MTV, “Sometimes life gives you a handful of dog turds” and you know what? That is totally true. I guess I just need to figure out where my sunshine is right now because it seems a little cloudy over here. I feel like one of those kids who has depressing lyrics on their Facebook status and wears emo clothes.
This whole college thing is such a bipolar mix of emotions. You’re with the coolest people in the world and have the most fun EVER and the best memories that you could ask for, but then you’re expected to move onto this brand new chapter.. WHICH don’t get me wrong I CAN’T WAIT to be able to have free time and be able to really work on my real life hobbies like that thing where you open that device with all the pages inside and you actually sit down and do that “READING” thing, but I’m not ready to give up all of the good times either. So I guess right now I’m a Debbie Downer the glass is EMPTY so stop pretending it’s full kind of a person.. but the square root of 69 is 8 something and I’m just tryin’ to work it out.. (Thanks for that awesome quote Drake) I’ll find my sunshine again soon.
I can only hope for the Good Life right now.. So I might as well listen to it for a little extra inspiration.