So if you were in the state of Wisconsin yesterday, you know that we had an intense thunderstorm. Not only was it snowing when I woke up, but thundering and lightning as well. So I want to take this opportunity to admit to the world my biggest fear: WEATHER. Now I know that sounds stupid at first, but hear me out. I will admit that I am very curious about it for all of the same reasons I’m scared of it.
1. It is unpredictable. Tornadoes can come, hit a city and be gone in just minutes time. What isn’t cool about that? BUT WHAT ISN’T SCARY ABOUT THAT?! It makes me nauseous just to think about the sky turning bright green and the cold wind blowing on your face even though it’s 80 degrees outside and suddenly time stands still. Silence. It just freaks me out okay?
2. If the weather feels like dumping on you, there is nothing you can do about it. So even if I don’t care that I’m unprepared, what about the fact that there is no defense? If it’s going to flood, chances are you find that out before it was too late and now you’re in a boat made out of your twin mattress floating down the Fox River.
3. I can’t drive fast. Well this is halfway true, I CAN drive fast, but I shouldn’t. Hydroplaning is only fun if you’re driving a disposable car that you can crash, and the last time I checked, I only have one of those badboys, so I guess I’ll have to slow my roll.. which makes me mad!
4. Meteorologists suck. If crazy weather is so cool, then why can’t anyone predict it? How long do you even have to go to school to look outside and tell me that it’s already raining? If Karen from Mean Girls can do it.. is it really that hard? The only good part about watching the weather on the news is definitely not planning out your week considering they are wrong 99% of the time, but it’s fun to watch them point at the weather patterns that resemble penises on the green screen behind them. Classic.
5. Natural disasters are just rude. Blah blah blah, balance and mother nature taking its toll, anyway you look at it, they just suck and ruin people’s lives. Look at Japan, straight up tragedy. What good came out of that tsunami? Some gnarly surfers in California catching some big waves.. Great! While you’re out there having fun, people are literally watching their houses and whole towns float away. So stop having fun, you’re rude.
The only good thing that comes out of mother nature is snow — because I get to miss class occasionally and I love snowmen and puddles. Who doesn’t love a good puddle? (Especially if there is a lot of mud involved)
So I’m going to stay right here in the middle of the U.S.A. in pretty little Wisconsin where we have the occasional flood/tornado warning. Right where it’s safe.